Why Doesn't My Cat Enjoy Hugs? Understanding Feline Behaviour

I’d like to hug my cat but they won’t let me – why?

Here are 10 common reasons why most cats really don’t like too much close and personal handling:

Cats prefer choice. This means that if your cat approaches you and wants to get close and have a cuddle, then by all means engage in some mutual loving.
Cats do not like to feel trapped and most dislike being restrained especially if they have no option to escape. Try and avoid picking them up and hugging them tightly. If they have all four paws on the ground they will feel happier.
Research has shown that if we handle kittens properly they will be more likely to respond to being handled as adults. The crucial time for this is between 3 and 8 weeks. Short, gentle and regular handling sessions throughout the day is recommended. Try and ensure that a range of different people get involved so that they will be socialised to men, women and children (under supervision).
Cats generally do not like their tummies being touched. This is a vulnerable area for cats so avoid tickling or stroking them there.
A large number of cats have a low threshold for time spent cuddling. Try and have regular but shorter episodes of contact.
In cat language, a raised tail in the shape of a question mark is a greeting (see Pic. 1). If a cat approaches you like this it’s usually an invitation to stroke and pet them.
Cats have a number of scent glands on their body. An abundance of these are found on their face. When they rub you, they are exchanging their scent. You can take this as a compliment as they are sharing their scent profile with you.
Cats show affiliation to another cat by mutual grooming and licking. If your cat likes to lick you it’s likely that they see you as a member of their social group.
Some cats are just not tactile. Many show their affection by choosing to sit close to you. If this describes your cat be content that they are wanting to be around you.
A slow blink is another way that a cat will show you affection. Try doing it back – most cats will respond.

So if your cat isn’t the hugging kind, just show them affection in different ways and be grateful that they choose to live with you. Remember to give them choice and respect their species’ specific behaviours. By doing this your cat is more likely to want to be with you.